you realize no one cares to be around you. Actually should be called : That painful moment when you realize this is the 13th consecutive saturday evening you have spent alone, with your dog. Whom, is good company, but is jut not a human being.
I thought of posting, and probably will, that I will be home every night this week, and anyone is invited to come over and hang... just to see if anyone actually would.
Problem is, everyone is dating someone, or is married and has kids. So, when it comes to hanging out, I know no one. And the film people around here still haven't taken a liking to me, enough to actually invite me to do anything. But I suspect that will always be the case... because hey... I am that guy.
Unfortunately I have always been that guy that gets left out of the social scene, so I have to include myself on a regular basis. I mostly feel like I am harassing people to hang out with me, because Im persistent, and Im ALWAYS doing it. It still continues on to this day. but now I don't know who to ask to hang anymore, because everyone has someone significant to hang out with.
Thats probably why I have acquired a dog. Though Zoey has been very needy and annoying lately, I have had frustrations with her. I sometimes wish she would go away so I can have my freedom again. I feel like she is there, and I am obligated to take care of her for the rest of her life/my life, and can't go and live my dream because I have to stay within 1 hr of home, in order to take care of her.
She's a social pariah as well. Misunderstood, and has a hard time playing with others.
Today at the dog park, I heard some fat guy say "That dog shouldn't be here" and he was talking about Zoey. She barks at other dogs when they come on too strong, and she snaps at them. Fat turd face ass didn't like Zoey making his dog her bitch I guess. I wanted to follow him to a fast food restaurant, and as soon as he ordered, interrupt "You shouldn't be here." I'd whisper it too. I also wanted to yell at him but there were way too many people at the park and I didn't want the embarrassment.
Zoey's a good dog. She deserves better than I can give her.
I had a date cancel on me yesterday. Someone from POF.com. I was really looking forward to it too, but maybe its for the best she cancelled. I probably did something to deserve it. She had 2 kids and an x husband so it probably wouldn't work out.
I do desire a spouse by the end of the year. I wish to find someone that is interesting, witty, smart, and independent. Someone who wants to share life experiences together, be a partner in crime and in the arts.
Basically I feel like nothing is going on this year, in business, in personal life, in church, in dating, in the arts, and I am really really frustrated with it all.
I am frustrated ALL the time in many different ways. I am BORED. I am POORER than poor. I am LONELY.
and its probably all my fault.
