So I hired this lady I found on fb a while back. I deleted her as a friend because when I extended my fb hand to her, I was in a major depressed and dark state and just wanted someone prettier than usual to look at. She was a good option. So, after randomly finding her on the suggested friends bar, I click.
Actress (actor, whatever. Female actors are Actresses and always will be)
Lives in Cali.
I set everything up to fly her out here. She's pretty nice to deal with. I begin to ritually tell myself "don't think about her! I don't want to think about her" So I would stop. I just didn't want to put myself in that foolish position, vie'ing for something that I couldn't have and ultimately wouldn't have.
So, my mind slips and I entertain the thoughts I don't want to have. But then I resume my chosen discipline.
Day comes that she fly's in and we work with her. Only was in the room with her for 5 hrs. I played my game. Didn't want to come off as interested at ALL to her, because 1. I didn't want to be, and 2. I wasn't.
But then I was...
Upon inquiring if anyone had seen the season finale of Family Guy and their spoof on Return of the Jedi, she says "Oh Im a huge Starwars fan."
Be-still-my-heart....
well, what am I to do from there? I just worked, and we worked efficiently, collaboratively, with lots of smiles. She brought up that I reminded her of a young Kiefer Southerland. I don't really know what that means...
Today, I feel foolish. I feel contemptible for even writing this garble that is pugnant-ly reminiscent of the crap I used to write 9 years ago. A friend related to a friend of his experience with her and the friend relayed that he was probably crushing on her. He proceeded to play out the scenario of my friend and her hooking up and getting married and that it "could work." and I thought to myself... how arrogant of me, sir, to even think that something that great and sweet would ever happen to me.
My friends, colleagues, meanderers of the blogosphere, I present to you today, for your consideration... this thought:
"You get what you deserve."
What does this mean, and what exactly does it have to do with courtship and pairing off?
Another friend, female, whom is married and made some sheisty decisions in her life once said "just because someone says that you deserve a great guy, doesn't mean you actually deserve a great guy." This got me thinking, and wondering about her situation. Did she actually deserve a great guy? Did the great guy actually deserve her?
Repentance is great, and is a true principle, but what about someones past? It doesn't change. Its still there to us humans. So do you really get what you deserve?
I've dated some delicious women in my time. None of them have stuck to me. They don't deserve me? Or I don't deserve them?
I just dont want to daydream about things I dont deserve anymore. So I'm trying to not do it at all. Its not too hard, because I dont run around with many single people. I dont much run around anyways.
Meh.
4 comments:
You do deserve the best. But what do you know about who is "the best." As much as you know what you are looking for you are constantly changing and you will be someone's best as well. And it will take you by surprise that you have found her and it will humble you that she wants you more than anything even with your stubborn self. Don't stop believing that you are everything you have grown to be, and don't regret past mistakes just don't dwell in it.
blah blah, what I am saying is just that you DO deserve someone amazing. So shut yo face and don't date anyone less than someone that will make you want to be a rock star of a man for her :).
I think you get what you deserve.
Well that being said, you deserve one amazing lady!
See, people just say that. Its something built in to our culture. Its not mentioned once in scripture or church talks.
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