Year In Review #2

Wow 2010, you were a rough bitch. I thought that I cried enough in 2009, but 2010 was definitely the worst year I have ever had.

It was filled with getting my heart broken,

both my feet broken,

my glasses broken,

my bank broken,

my ego broken,

friendships broken,

hopes broken,

future plans broken,

trusts broken,

car broken,

password broken,

dogs eyelid broken,

creativity broken,

and a veritable plethora of other things being broken... I got bucked off a freakin horse!

But...

I rebuilt...

My creativity,

my dogs eyelid,

car,

some trust in OTHER DIFFERENT people,

reincarnated future plans,

hopes (no matter how weakly this flame flickers, its there regularly)

friendships,

bank...kinda,

and my feet rebuilt themselves.

No glasses yet, but hopefully soon.

I just hope to be able to continue to purge negativity out of my life, while bypassing the wantabee's and egotists and forge a strong and sure path towards doing things that are fulfilling and life enriching.

I want to hike more with my dog.

I want to finish my damn college degree.

I want to find a lover that will be mature and giving.

I want to celebrate holidays HARDER!

I want to make at least 4 films. At LEAST.

And I have to make 500,000 this year. I only have a year and a half to become a millionaire.

So giddyap!

Bloggamy

I am committing Bloggamy. Its dirty, nasty and nerdy all at the same time.

I miss the sunlight. I've been crying or on the verge of crying a lot lately. I must be emotional from not having any money to spare. I hate not having enough money. I work 6 days a week and still dont have enough. Life shouldn't be like this.

Zoey ate a whole batch of un-cooked rolls tonight. It really upset me because I was enjoying the spirit felt from church but it soon turned in to extreme anger. I went to dinner, and then fell asleep on Blakes couch after I got there. Me no likey be so emotional so often.

I think there are a lot of women to date out there. I think I come across them a lot but I am not sure if my heart recognizes it. Most of the time I still feel dead towards women, though I would like to have some of their company.

One girl I know doesn't want to play games and I think that that is impossible to do. It wont be fun if no games are played, and if you are waiting on signals, then nothing will happen because the game isn't going to be played.

I want enough money, thats all I want.

Im moving next week.

Polygamy

What would I be like as a polygamist?

I had really never thought of it before tonight. You hear all of these jokes like "Why would I want more than one wife? I can barely handle the one I have!"

But what if men of the church today were put in to that position?

Scenario: Christ comes. The earth burns up and you and me barely make the grade and are left on earth. Are there many people left? Are families starving because there is no father in the home anymore?

Well, I hope, if I were made to do this, that I would be a good father and a good husband and leader to all under my care. I like to think I would be a good leader and considerate of each wife that was entrusted to me. I don't think I would like to father any further children but with my original wife. I would hope we could all become a team, working toward a goal, understanding our individual responsibilities.

Anyways, it feels really weird talking like this. I don't like it. But it is a very interesting and abstract thought.

Life is Kung Fu

Life is Kung Fu according to Jackie Chan in the Karate Kid.......

yeah think about that one for a bit.

And yet again I want to turn over a new leaf of calmness and control.

I now will.

Eventually it eats...

Things I try and ignore dont bug me when brought up, but eventually thoughts penetrate my skull, burrow down into my cerebral cortex, feed upon brain matter, grow and metastasize until I am thoroughly bugged.

BUGGED! Then I cant get it out of my head. I just want to beat some ass!

My sense of right and wrong is very strong and the wisdom I have accumulated over the years adds to my nonsense detection. Few scenarios have not been nonsense since I have been in Utah the past 4 years. Currently, the one that burrows into my brain and grows, is explained by this one song with a catchy tune... And I dedicate it to the 2 people who just keep shooting their own reputation in the foot, with every hang out they have. Man, some people have no honor. Growing up is hard. But waiting for others to grow up around you is harder.

Peace out bitches!

Theatre of Life

Some say I go to the theatre to be challenged. Well I go to my life to be challenged. Especially today.

Got invited to go to a party. Nice party. Nice house. Tons of people, which isn't necessarily bad because the environment sets up everyone for mingling instead of grouping together and doing nothing with others.

Saw cute girl. Was kinda fascinated with her smile. She looked at me. A moment goes by as we had just glanced and noticed each other at the party so what do you do? Check again to see if the other person is looking....YUP! Looked again. I was looking at her as she took another peek at me. Her eyes shot down to the floor and I realize to myself...Yup, we just had a little moment.

So me, being the smarty that I am, I bury my face in my phone, looking at all the awesome text messages I had gotten in the day, and what does she do? Leaves.

I am so awesome. I just let the opportunities go on by because its easier to write a blog about them, then to live through the raw emotion of them.

Prop Ocho

Today, one man overruled the majority vote of Californians, saying that the majority was wrong in voting for a law to be passed that would not allow gays to be married.

So, either this is good, or Democracy is dead.

I think the latter, and I think it is only inevitable. I think I am being prepared for something, like constant hate speech and mud slinging because no matter what I say, even if I am opposing that the judge should not be overturning the vote of 7 million people. This is not a Monarchy.

Its times like these that make me wonder what life would be like if I would have heeded my state presidents advice and council when I moved back up to Ogden " Come to institute, and I promise you that you will be blessed with good friends" I went to institute like 2 times, and Im just now getting over it. I have met and been associated with some of the most miserable people I have ever met in Ogden. It must be a breeding ground for them because it was like that waaaay before I ever got there.

I wish I would have gone to institute. I would not be associated with people who tell me I'm "hopeless" or "always saying things that are meant to offend" or that I'm a "bigot" without even asking me any questions about my point of view. I am a good person. I stand for what I believe in and I WONT SHUT UP! I WILL NEVER BE SILENCED! YOU WILL HAVE TO DRAG ME THROUGH THE STREETS AND CUT OUT MY TONGUE. I WILL NOT BE QUIET.

(sigh)

I do think that this will not pass the supreme court. If it does, God will be here very soon. That or the church will extract from California, and then all churches will except the non denominational ones, and then Cali will fall in to the ocean and then it will be blamed on Bush.

It never ceased to amaze me the logic of Liberals. I got called names today and people I know tried to vilify me and demean me, yet they are screaming acceptance...